Decisions, Decisions — 2016 Edition

Well, here we are in the midst of another long political season leading up to the Presidential election. As you may know, talking politics is not my usual area. Today, however, I am venturing into the waters. And, for full disclosure, I have been registered in all of the 3 major categories at some point in my life — Democrat, Republican and Independent. My voting record is not up for discussion, but let’s just say that I look at the individual candidates and choose the one I feel best fits the need at the time. Yes, I know that for some of you (on both sides of the main aisle) that seems unconscionable, but that is how I have always done it. My purpose is not to convince anyone they are or ever have been wrong. I simply feel the urge to write this today. And, if there is any doubt, my mindset has always been that voting is a vital, integral part of the American culture — I am NOT here to dispute that now– or ever. We live in a country that has afforded us great privilege with the open vote and we need to fully exercise that. I fully expect that as citizens of the United States of America we embrace and participate in the process — even when it crosses over the line into absurdity. But that would NEVER happen, would it?  (please read the sarcasm intended in that…)

That brings me to today’s topic. Before I begin, I just ask that you read with and open mind. I am not asking that you agree with everything that I write, say or believe — I am sure that I would not agree with everything that you write, say or believe either. I just ask that we hear each other respectfully and thoughtfully. If that isn’t possible, you may not want to continue — I completely understand. If you dare continue, thank you for your attention and respect. Here we go!

If you have been around me during any election period, you will know that I am a strong voice in urging everyone to not only register to vote, but to actually follow through and vote in every election — not just the Hot Button ones, or those with candidates that have the chance to make history. (first whatever or only in history to whatever) Voting is what allows us to express ourselves and, as I and many others are quick to remind us, every vote counts. I have a unique challenge this year. For the first time in my life, I am having that conversation with myself — this would be the easy one to sit out. After all, both major candidates give me ZERO warm fuzzies and the trust factor just isn’t there. Yes, I realize that I just admitted to not liking or wanting to vote for either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton. I have had people tell me either “DON’T vote for Trump because…” and others that say “DON”T vote for Hillary because…”  Still other say ” just DON’T vote at all because it doesn’t matter any way because…” ENOUGH!!!!!!!! I get it — trust me, I get it. I don’t respond to them because for me my voting record — and my voting plan — is a very personal issue. I just wish I had a stronger base on which to base my choice.

Please do not take this as an invitation to try to persuade me to vote for the person YOU want — that is not the purpose of this post. I fully respect that you have your reasons and I will not belittle you for whichever way you are leaning. I have asked myself what it would take for me to endorse either candidate and I have come up with a few things, and NONE of them have to do with their party affiliation. To me that is the LEAST persuasive reasons to vote for a candidate. To me that is tantamount to “because that is the way we have always done it.”  To be quite frank, I am tired of that mentality.

This year we have 2 candidates that represent something that could be historic in their election — a female political insider and a wealthy outsider businessman. Both have done things that, frankly, turn me off. Both have backgrounds that I find distasteful and all they want to do is bash each other and argue. I have yet to hear either one present a sound, fact filled statement on what they will do if elected. They seem to say “go check it our for yourself while I bash my opponent.” Neither one has said — I screwed up and I apologize.” They have said — I might have messed up, but not as bad as my opponent. It seems to be about lip service and lying just to see what mud they can throw on anyone that gets in their way.

All I know is that in the midst of one of the most crucial times in our country’s history, we are faced with a choice between what I might describe as 2 of the most disliked and mistrusted candidates we could find. That is my choice — while I can see that each has attributes that make them a political or a business success, I am hard pressed to see anything in them that convinces me that they will be a Presidential success.

I do recognize that there are other parties out there with candidates in this election, and trust me, I have not ruled them out. This post is simply about the major players — and the unsettling realization that we will most likely have either a President Donald Trump or a President Hillary Clinton. Either way, my stomach is turning. Now I guess I need to go away from this and see what I decide.

Earlier I mentioned a conversation with myself about voting; please do not misunderstand. NOT voting has never been a viable option — it is simply an opportunity to remind myself WHY I need to vote. This country is in a mess because so many of our citizens voluntarily sacrifice the chance to make a difference, find their voice and change things. This year, more than any other, each and every one of us need to make the decision and follow through to vote. Vote your conscience — even if it is one of the 3rd party candidate options. If we as a people choose that our voice is unimportant or that our vote doesn’t count, then that becomes reality. BUT, when we decide that our voice is just as important as the political insiders in Washington, we start the change. My message now is the same as it has always been, but with a much stronger sense of urgency..

VOTE…VOTE…VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look into ALL of the candidates and then decide — don’t limit yourself to just Trump or Clinton. Once you do your research then vote. When EVERY person that is entitled to vote follows through and actually votes, THAT is when democracy wins. Don’t vote for ANYONE just because you are expected to — for ANY reason. Register, research, decide and then follow through. That is nothing less than you and our country deserve. See you at the polls!

Let’s see what’s next… Thanks for reading!

 

A Day in History

Hello All! It has been a very long time since my last post…no real excuse, just life happening. I hope to get back into the habit of posting, but today is a special occasion, but not for the reason you may initially think.

15 years ago today, our country was rocked to its core by a terrible tragedy and the events of that day still seem to shape and color our way of life in ever changing ways. Today I would like to share with you the opinions of one humble writer that may just give us all pause — at least take a moment to think. The opinions expressed may or may not agree with your own, but I ask that you read with an open mind and respond with a respectful post if you choose. As my own personal disclaimer: the humble writer is my son. Andy and I have always tried to teach Justin to be true to himself and have self confidence. Today I am proud to say that his post does just that. Thank you for taking time to read! I will hopefully be posting something from myself in the near future, but for now please enjoy (and think about) the following post from Justin Glover.

I copied and pasted this from his post with his permission. This is the post in its entirety.  Again — Thank you for your respectful attention.

Let’s see what’s next…Thanks for reading!

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Strap in, folks. This is a long one.
I’m going to start this post with a massive disclaimer. I recognize that on this day, fifteen years ago, nearly 3,000 people lost their lives in a series of terrorist attacks on the United States. It was a terrible event, and the surviving victims and their families, as well as those of the policemen and firefighters and EMTs who risked everything to help those who were suffering, are still living with the repercussions of that day. I want to say on the front end that this post is not directed at them, nor is it intended to offend them or those who know them. I admit that I cannot fully comprehend the true depth of loss they experienced that day and still experience even now, which is why I want to ensure that this post is not about those who were killed and injured, at least not directly. For that reason, allow me to restate: This post is in no way intended to attack or belittle the thousands who were killed or injured in the September 11, 2001 attacks, or the thousands upon thousands of others who witnessed the fallout from the attacks.
I also want to make it clear that this isn’t going to be a post trying to relate a wild conspiracy theory or anything of that sort. I’m as sick to death of the “Bush was in on it” and “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams” and “false flag” as you probably are. If you’re looking for someone to reinforce your beliefs in said conspiracy theories, or if you want someone who legitimately subscribes to those theories so that you can send them a strongly-worded invective open letter, I suggest you look elsewhere.
Now that that’s out of the way…
On this, the fifteenth anniversary of what is admittedly one of the darkest days of our nation’s history, I’m struggling to understand why we choose today of all days to put on a pedestal above all others.
I know that may anger or offend some of you, but I ask that you hear me out before you inevitably unfollow and/or unfriend me. I understand the concept of remembering the low points in one’s life, so that the high points can be held in greater contrast, making them even better; it’s my belief that this principle is in play here, to an extent. I also understand that the point of observing 9/11 is to remember the day when “everything changed,” and that it marked a turning point in our nation’s history. By no means am I saying it should be forgotten. Indeed, we can’t afford to forget it.
What I don’t get are the people who go around on this day insisting that the things that occurred that day several years ago should still be abundantly fresh in everyone’s mind, and that this day is the single most important day in our history. (Admittedly, I’m probably strawmanning a bit here, but some of the opinions I’ve seen both online and in real life aren’t that far off.) These are the people who treat today as an excuse to parade their citizenship as though it were a badge of honor or of superiority, despite being more than willing to attack and belittle the same country the rest of the year whenever they do something that these people don’t agree with. These are the people who insist that the day be treated as essentially a 12-hour moment of silence, followed by a 12-hour loop of patriotic songs.
The problems with this mindset are twofold. First, and perhaps more importantly, it only serves as a method for justifying the rule of nationalism over rationality. It was this day that justified the war against Afghanistan, then Iraq, then Afghanistan again, and now Syria, conflicts that have resulted in hundreds of thousands of casualties on all sides and a monetary price of $4-6 trillion (according to a 2013 Harvard study). And the end result of those wars? The deposition and execution of two central antagonists in the “War on Terror” (Hussein and bin Laden), and the upheaval of the balance of power in the Middle East. While the first part is at least somewhat noble, it does not justify the human or economic cost, nor does it entirely mitigate the issues caused by the latter consequence.
While I make no argument that bin Laden or Hussein deserved to live, I do make note that during this period, it seemed to me that anything our leaders and military did could be justified by pointing to the flag and saying, “They hit us first.” Even now, there is still a large subsection of the population who believes that we should return even more forces to the Middle East in order to spread our ideology and way of life in order to somehow fix the current problems with the Islamic State and the Syrian civil war. I’ve ranted about American exceptionalism several times before, but it’s precisely this mindset that got us involved in the Middle Eastern conflicts to begin with. The fact of the matter is, whether it’s your intention or not, by going around saying that America is the greatest nation on earth and always has been, you’re implicitly supporting this mindset. And this day in particular is a notable example for this because of its antecedents.
The other, and potentially even more far-reaching, problem I see with celebrating 9/11 as what it is is that it hinders the healing process. Tragedies happen on a daily basis, some more prominent and more harmful than others. But the reason it gets easier to deal with over time is that you eventually move on from it. You don’t forget it by any means, but you also don’t break into tears at the drop of a hat, either. Instead, you remember what happened, quietly acknowledge that it still hurts a little—because the hurt never really goes away—and continue moving on with your day. It’s hard to do at first, but eventually it normalizes. It becomes part of your life, just like anything else.
When my maternal grandmother died on April 23, 2009—almost seven and a half years ago–I was despondent. She’d moved in with us for the last few months of her life, and I was able to connect with her in a way I’d never really been able to before. I never did get to say goodbye that day; to this day I wish I had. It’s one of my biggest regrets. When the next year came, I hugged my mom (needless to say, she’s had it far worse than I did) and cried a little, because she was still on my mind. The next year after that, I thought of her sadly, wishing she were still here, and kept going. The next year after that, I thought about her for a moment and fondly remembered the times we’d spent together. And so on.
I never forgot about my granny, and I hope I never do. I simply recognized that yes, this happened, and it was sad, but there’s no reason to be sad anymore. I certainly wouldn’t like to be forcibly reminded of it by someone else, but there’s no sense treating it as though it happened yesterday. You have to keep moving forward. If you stop to pity yourself at every opportunity, you can never learn to let it go. There is a time for grief, as with anything else. But it should never consume you to the point of it being all you can think about, especially so far removed from the event.
Let’s say you’re walking down the street one day. Suddenly, a man pulls out a gun and shoots you in the chest for no reason. You go to the hospital, have surgery to remove the bullet, and eventually make a full recovery. Would you, from that point forward, go out every year on the anniversary of this happening, walk up to strangers, point to the wound, and say, “This is where I was shot on this day X years ago, isn’t that awful?” Or would you quietly try to adapt to being back in the rhythm of your everyday life? Or, in another example, what if you did want to move on, but the many eyewitnesses who were there and the news crew who just happened to be recording the whole thing reminded you of the incident every year on the anniversary of it happening? What then?
I know I’m comparing apples and oranges here, but I think it should be considered that this constant elevation of September 11 does nothing to help us move forward as a country. If we constantly look back to one day when we were at our lowest, we’re going to miss the future days when we’re at our highest. It’s good to grieve for something that legitimately hurt, and did still have a tangible effect on the nation a few years hence, but to make it such a priority after fifteen years speaks less to the “enduring American spirit” or whatever the propagandists might say, and more to the incessant need for America to be at the center of the global stage, for good or ill.
I hope this rant made sense to someone out there, assuming anyone even bothered to read the whole thing. I’m genuinely sorry if this post expresses views you don’t agree with; I’m more than willing to listen if I got facts wrong, or if I come across as fallacious. I simply feel that we as a nation ought to be above fishing for reassurance at this stage. Please let me know if I said anything that is fundamentally incorrect. If you want to offer a rebuttal, feel free to do that as well; I won’t guarantee that I’ll agree with what you have to say, but I can guarantee that I will at least pay heed to opposing viewpoints, as always.
Thanks for reading.

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Braver, Stronger and Smarter

When I was a little girl…just a couple of years ago…I absolutely LOVED a certain cartoon bear named Winnie the Pooh! That relationship still exists to this day — he is a special source of comfort and friendship for me. It is for this reason that I introduced my son to him from the very beginning; it just so happened that Disney decided that the world had been devoid of a full length movie about that lovable bear and his friends not long after his birth. Before the time “Pooh’s Grand Adventure” was available on tape, we were limited to a variety of short videos starring this “tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff.” From the very start, Justin was just as enthralled with him as I was; this of course was heavenly for me. There is one quote from that movie that still lives in our family. A. A. Milne had it right when he wrote: “Promise me you’ll always remember You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” To this day, those words have special meaning and touching memories tied to them for our family.

Isn’t that the epitome of what we, as parents, dream for our children — that they would be confident in themselves and their abilities? That they would be braver, stronger and smarter? Of course it is! Naturally, each child is different and one or more of those qualities will be more readily attained than the others. In addition to that, some kids are naturally more receptive to the encouraging we provide and even some of us, as parents, are a little lacking in the abilities to follow through with our ideal plan. Even with those limitations, we still hope and dream that our kids will achieve greater than we did and become the very best they can be and achieve lofty goals — because of, or inspire of, our own involvement.

Justin turned 19 yesterday and I wanted to write something on his Facebook wall for the world to see. As I sat there trying to come up with something particularly witty or sentimental, my mind kept drifting to the above quote; I quickly determined that this quote was exactly what I wanted to say and that I didn’t need to reword it or even try to catch the sentiment. I really needed him to hear — ok, read those words from me. Then the realization happened; at that moment I realized that I needed to say them. Not because I thought he had forgotten or that I was afraid he would not remember — I needed those words to flow between us because I just needed the connection. From his 13th birthday through his 17th, I was not able to celebrate his special day with him — it has always been put off for a day or 2…or 5 because of traveling with his youth group. They returned from the trip ON his 18th, so at least I saw him for a few hours of it. All of that was ok because I had the luxury of seeing him daily leading up to and following. This year is different; not only did I not get to see him ON his birthday, but I don’t get to see him daily any more. That is just how it works when college years attack. We are at the phase of his life that he is spreading his wings and learning to fly on his own. I guess in a very real sense I am doing the very same thing, but that is a good thing. (That is not the subject of this post, but it may come out in another — who knows?!)

The entire quote goes like this:  “Promise me you’ll always remember that you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is,even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you.

As Justin has grown and matured through the years, this quote has always been a part of our lives — and I expect it always will be. We learned it well before he started school and repeated it as recently as yesterday — its message remains the same. To be honest, I expect him to be telling me this one day as he moves on with this adventure called life. When that day happens, I will have to remember that I am braver than I believe, and stronger than I seem, and smarter than I think. But the most important thing is, even when we are apart, you (Justin) will always be with me. 

Let’s see what’s next…Thanks for reading!

The Storm before the Calm

Well, believe it or not — I AM BAAAAAAACK!!!!  When I started this blog I had plans to write something every week or two; in fact I did pretty well in the beginning, but I have not done so well over the last few months. I ask that you bear with me as I pick this up again and venture into my new reality…my new adventure if you will.

To say that a couple of things have happened and changed in the several months since my last post would definitely be an understatement! Between Senior Prom on April 26th, emptying the house on May 26th and finally making the final move to Nashville on June 4th, we had just a few things to juggle. A few of the highlights include college registration, family visits, graduation, graduation party, packing, moving, cleaning and a trip to Texas. This doesn’t even take into account the regular day-to-day stuff involved with daily life and having a Senior in the house and a husband 3 hours away, but I think you get the general idea — I was BUSY!  Oh, and did I mention that we made another move on June 15th into our current place? Well, yeah, we did that too. I think I am due for a season of not moving for a while.

There were times in the midst of this maddening chaos that I really did want to throw my hands up and just scream; I needed an outlet for everything that was being pent-up because of the seemingly unending list that I needed to accomplish. In addition to this I had my new “normal” reality pressing in on me too — Andy was 3 hours away and we had only brief contact daily and the occasional face to face visit when it worked out. I felt alone and at times all I could do was to stop, cry it out and start over. Those times weren’t often, nor did they last for an extended time, but they served as an emotional reset of sorts and allowed me to reset and begin again. Ultimately it all worked and I managed NOT to maim or murder anyone or anything! See — self-control really does pay off!

Throughout the storm of circumstances swirling about me I knew that it would ultimately be worth it — our family would be back together in the same city and under the same roof!!! I was SO ready for that! All in all that, along with my Faith was what brought me through and kept me going even when it seemed that all was lost and I would fail. Never have I ever been more grateful for friends, family and Faith as I have over the last little bit. Without a doubt– even in the darkest of my days — did I ever lose sight of that or my goal. Now that we have made it through this storm we can set sail into the open waters and see just what the future holds.

Let’s see what’s next…Thanks for reading!