Nothing quite compares to the flood of emotions and thoughts that happened when Justin left for his Jr. Prom; a flood of emotions — good, bad, realistic and unrealistic — made sure my attention was grabbed. I was excited, happy, proud, anxious, nervous and a little scared. That list may not make sense to some, but it does to me. As a Mom I have spent the last 17 years trying to prepare Justin to be able to handle himself in the real world and be independent, but letting go that little bit more was a big thing. It wasn’t the first time he took my car and drove it alone; it wasn’t the first time he had gone with friends. It wasn’t even the first time he would be out late; it was just different. That night was a process for me that started when he came home and announced he wanted to go to prom. Something in me kicked and screamed “NO!” but a bigger part of me yelled “OH YAY!!!” Such was my battle — one side wanting my son to be happy and independent; the other wanting him to be my little boy forever. He was growing up and there was nothing I could do about it, so I did what most parents do. I pushed all that stuff back and concentrated on the fun and happy details. That worked until I saw him ready to go — looking handsome in his tux with corsage in hand. All the good emotions flooded, but the fears and other things started creeping in too. Then he was gone — off to a wonderful night he had worked so hard to plan and I was left at home with only my thoughts and emotions.
After everything was said and done, he had a fantastic time and we were all happy about that. I know that I have many more times in the not too distant future that I will need to let him go and do and be whatever it is that his life has in store; there is no doubt about that. My only hope is that I can be the kind of Mom that not only allows those growth opportunities, but encourages them as well. After all, that is the whole point of raising them up to do things for themselves and think on their own, right? Well, that is my approach; so far it seems to be paying off — then again some of the things he comes up with… Well, those are for another day, or another post.
Let’s see what’s next…Thanks for reading!